Dear God, From Me

Dear God,

I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough. But it’s all I’ve got.

It’s not that I don’t know better – because I do.

It’s not that I don’t care – because I do.

It’s not like you hold back – because you don’t.

It’s because in the moment I decide that what I want outweighs everything else – even though the one who will pay the greatest expense at the end of it all is me.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t appear to be the deterrent one would expect it to be.
So, at the end of it all, all I have is sorry. Sorry is the best I can do.

I wish, I really wish I could promise you that it will never happen again, but no matter how much I wish that to be true – the fact of the matter is simply that I can’t promise anything.

I can promise that I will try my best, but that’s probably not good enough.

I’m not sure why your Son took my sins upon himself and died in my place.

The price He would’ve paid for my sins alone would’ve been an extravagant amount, let alone the fact that He took the sins of every other human being, ever.

That’s quite a Son you’ve got there God.

It’s easy for me to forget and brush aside the sacrifice not just that He made, but the sacrifice YOU made.

To see your Son punished for a crime He didn’t commit. I can only imagine.

It must break your heart twice over to see how nonchalantly we sin in your face, ignorant of the price paid for our inequities, knowing that mercy freely available to us.

I know that you can forgive me and I know that there will be many more times throughout my life where I will be coming back to you – just like now – asking for forgiveness again.

I don’t know what to say, other than sorry and thanks.

I’m not sure why you love us sometimes after all the pain we put you through.

But then again, you are God, and I am not.

All I can do is thank you for your love, your mercy, your faithfulness.

You’re pretty cool. I hope you know that.

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2 thoughts on “Dear God, From Me

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