Transition Fatigue

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs,

and returns home to find it.

~George Augustus Moore

Leaving Home, for Rogers's 'Poems' circa 1826-36 by Joseph Mallord William Turner 1775-1851

Every song on shuffle today wants to remind me that home may always be a foreign concept to me.

Lyrics like:

Why am I the one always packing up my stuff?
(Why Am I the One? by fun.)

But I know that home is always just some place I leave behind.
(Open Door by You+Me)

Just because everything’s changing, doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before.
(The Call by Regina Spektor)

Over the past seven years, since graduating high school, I have:

Lived in eight homes across three cities.
Moved countries three times.
Worked five different jobs.
Attended four churches.

It’s just all a little tiring and overwhelming sometimes.

Where beginnings begin and endings end, I’m never quite sure.

It is such a beautiful, wonderful journey but wow, does it wear you out sometimes.

I never thought I would have turned out to be quite so nomadic but then again I don’t think I’m the only one.

When there’s nothing to tie you anywhere or to anything, how do you hang on?

How do you grow roots when you’re not sure where you even belong?

Who are you when you’re no longer defined by the other people in your life?

When you’re no longer
someone’s classmate,
someone’s friend,
someone’s son?

Who are you when it’s just suddenly you out there in the big wide world to figure it out?

And don’t get me wrong.

I’ve had family, friends, and support, every step of the way.

But ever since graduating high school and moving out on my own, the only constant variable in my life has been me.

And that just feels a little lonely sometimes.

Just over a year ago, I moved back to Australia because it felt like time for some stability.

I wanted to be intentional about finding somewhere to settle down (for now).
About belonging to a church.
About finding community.
About creating a career.

But boy is it hard work.

It’s one transition after the other.

For the past seven years, it feels like I’ve been constantly starting from scratch.

Hi, my name’s Chris…it’s nice to meet you.

I’m now at a place in transitioning back where people know my name, know my humour, and know my heart. But it’s continual and it requires a ton of persistence, determination, and yes, courage.

Where beginnings begin and endings end – who even knows.

I once was the only constant variable in my life.

I think I am now transitioning to a place where my journey is no longer mine alone. And that is extraordinarily comforting and exciting. A most welcome transition.

leaving_home_by_markus_art_design-d6j1zka

If you are moving houses,
moving countries,
changing jobs,
or all of the above at the same time, then know you are not alone.

And know that there is such a thing as transition fatigue.

But what an amazing journey.

I can’t tell you where home is.
Because it is in many places,
in the company of many great people.

For this, I am truly blessed.

For this, the cost of every transition I have ever had to make, has been truly worth it.

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One thought on “Transition Fatigue

  1. Hi Chris, I just wanted to thank you for your post. I am currently in the transitional period of having moved to language school in France (from Australia) as I wait to return to the home God has prepared for me in West Africa. Its a strange tension this transitional time, when all of things that you have mentioned have changed, and will again in another year, but it has been encouraging to read your words and to be reminded that this is a blessing. So thanks!

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